Life happens

The town where I live has the highest number of Corona patients. It's unknown if that's due to 2 hospitals, one with high specialised care with a regional function.
The village where my son lives had the second death today.

It's as life has come to a standstill.

When you have children at home who need school, things are different.
Those parents changed from mom with work, to mom who educates her children at home.
I remember that people looked down on my when I decided to stay at home with my children, giving up a wonderful career.
I didn't like my supervisor at the hospital. I remember him standing on the stairs and telling me not to  become a mom, but to use my talents to the fulest. In a way he was right. ZI would have had a nice career.
But life itself decidedfor me: I got a child... and he turned out to be autistic. My plan to stay at home for just 2 or 3 years changed into 'the rest of my life'. My studies came in very convenient. Psychologist with lots of medical knowledge, and educational skills.... so first aid at all areas available!! My journalist education came in handy, as I earned some extra's now and then by writing.
For papers, magazines, for an online shop, a book, translations. And in between I worked at times at the university. Teaching students... I absolutely loved it!

For a while I homeschooled one of the boys. Something that was forbidden in this country.
I was forced by school... they couldn't cope with the autism of my youngest son.
It got me in problems...but just in time his former teacher apologised.

The homeschooling organisation in my country was very active. So was court.
I've always said the government made a mistake.

Now it turns out I was right.
The teachers have no experience ast all, there are no homeschooling materials, and now they're working very hard to get everything running.
I feel sorry for them.

Now my children have grown up. Moms are complaining online a lot. I would have loved to have had the opportunity to have my mini school at home.

So now I went into the cold to tie some more of the berrybushes to the rosebows.
Helped a few people online, and then found facebook considers this blog 'spam'. Couldn't find an emailadres to talk with them. Ridiculous!! Probably computerdriven.

Yes, Mr.Intelligent went to his son.
He's the weakest link.

But in a way I don't care.

Life happens to you.

I was such a shy girl.
A bit afraid of people, because my mother was so nice to others, and hit me when those others couldn't see her, Hard! I learned very early not to trust people, but my dad and gram.

I was told I shouldn't have been born.
I was never respected in the family.

But of all those people I'm the only one still alive.
And at times I still feel shy.
But I danced with my children in the same performance,
sang in a band,
and did so many different things,
like running a paper during a year, so a friend would find it back after his sabbatical year,
holding hands of dying people,
maybe I should make a list...

I grew from that very little shy child, lost in time,
to a mom
through loneliness, emptiness,
to a woman with dreams.

Life happens.
Now I can look in the mirror,
the little girl called ugly by her mom,
considered unattractive by herself almost all her life,
and see a woman who smiles.
In my mind a few friends I miss so much.

I'm amazed people like me, enjoy spending time with me.
That someone came to London to spend my birthday with me,
wanted to make me have a good time,
accepting me,
made me the woman that little girl was supposed to be.

Life happens....